Kate's Dream
by danakatherinebeckett
Summary: Recovering in her father's cabin, Kate dreams of her future.


Kate sits at an antique wooden vanity with a large gilded mirror towering over her. She is staring at her reflection in the glass. As she reaches out a hand, lightly touching the glass, the image distorts, like ripples on the surface of a deep pool of water. What she sees now is herself, but something is different. There was a smile on her face, light and laughter shone in her eyes. She is healthy and happy. The image shifts again, and this time Kate feels as if she is reliving a memory, but this isn't a memory, this is like a slideshow of her future.

She sees Castle walking towards her in the precinct, carrying her coat. He holds it out for her to slip her arms through, taking her hand in his as they walk towards the elevator.

Then, they are snuggled up on his couch, watching a movie, but not really watching. He is holding her close, his arms wrapped around her, and she closes her eyes, feeling safe and comfortable, and home.

He is down on one knee in Central Park, asking her to marry him, saying he'll be there for her, always, his breath visible in the cold winter air. Tears blur her vision as she whispers a yes, and he removes her glove and slips on a modestly elegant diamond ring.

He stands on the beach at the Hamptons, completely unable to take his eyes off of her as she walks towards him on her father's arm, the light breeze playing with the hem of her gown and the loose curls around her face. She sees the love in his eyes, and as she smiles she knows her expression is a reflection of his.

She's sitting at her desk, grumbling about being assigned to desk duty and not being allowed to wear heels, her protruding stomach making it hard to reach the keyboard as she types up more paperwork. He tells her that she's beautiful, and that he'll cuff her to the desk if he has to.

He holds her hand as she's screaming in pain on a hospital bed; tears slip down his cheeks at the sight of their son in her arms.

She's standing in the kitchen of _their_ loft with Martha and a very pregnant Alexis, drinking tea and listening to the shouts and crashes accompanying a laser-tag battle between Rick and their kids.

Another ripple, another shift, and Kate feels like she's spinning through the glass, now seated on the other side. The woman depicted in the reflection in front of her is not Kate. This is Beckett, the cop who fiercely refuses to give up her mother's case. Her cheeks are sunken, dark circles rim her eyes, her hair is pulled back severely, and there isn't the slightest ghost of a smile. A feeling of darkness and desperation colors the images passing across the glass.

She's sitting alone at her desk, the clock reading 1:00 am, a cold cup of coffee next to her as she goes over and over her mother's file. Alone.

She's chasing down a suspect in a dark alley; he turns, pointing a gun at her; panic fills her entire being. She stands frozen, unable to place her finger on the trigger. Her hands are shaking so badly. The suspect gives her a smirk and hops over a fence before the boys catch up to her.

She's sitting on her couch, quiet and darkness settling in her apartment. This is her new normal. This is her life. She is alone, she has no one to call, no one to listen to her, no one to take away the pain.

She's facing another gun, a glock, pointed straight at her heart. This is the man who ruined her life, holding her at gunpoint with a smile on his face, like this he's enjoying this, like shooting an NYPD detective is what he does for fun. "You shouldn't have chased this, Beckett," he whispers, "You should have left well enough alone." Her scream echoes as he pulls the trigger.

She wakes up in a cold sweat, tears forming in her eyes. As she sits up, she realizes her hands are trembling as they reach for the sheets she'd kicked off in her sleep. Adjusting to the darkness, she takes in the familiarity of her bedroom in her father's cabin. This has been her prison for weeks. Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes, and Rick's face appears behind her lids. "_I love you. I love you, Kate._" His words echo in her head. She wants to hear him say those words again. For real. There's a pain in her chest, and it's not from the damn bullet. Swallowing hard, she opens her eyes again, and thinks of her mother. How she was taken from the world, taken from _her, _too soon. She thinks of herself, of how this good for nothing sun of a _ put her in the hospital and out of the precinct for three months, completely screwing up her life. Whatever those feelings were for Castle, they are replaced by a new resolve for revenge on this- this fiend who ruined her life. Castle can wait. She needs closure. She needs to fix her life.


End file.
